Today I hit another mile stone in my current journey, 70 lbs lost since the end of December. This last 5 lbs seemed like it took ages to go, just me being impatient. It is a constant process to remember that this is a marathon and a lifestyle change. I, like a lot of people, like instant gratification. Yet, it is through our journey, the ups and downs, we become who we are today, a better version of who we were yesterday. Each day learning more about who we are becoming.
I have lost weight so many times before, and on this journey I am still reveling in the small changes I see everyday in my body or how my clothes fit or don’t fit anymore as is often the case now. I think that is the difference this time for me. Apart from being older and wiser, I am losing weight on my terms and enjoying it. I’m engaging in the process because I want to, dare I say it’s fun??
It has been a long time since I saw a 1 in front of the number on the scale. It has to be back in the 90’s perhaps as far back as 17 years. I have carried this weight for too long. Now I am just 5 lbs away from One-derland. It feels great. I have to say for me it is a great accomplishment to even look at the scale. When I started changing my eating habits last year I wouldn’t even look. I was so scared about the number it would reveal. So ashamed of what my past actions had created, the over weight version of me. I also didn’t want to look at the scale because I get a little obsessive about seeing if the number has changed, even from 5 minutes ago. Wow, I gave that scale too much power! It is just a measuring device, just a number that represents the pull of earths gravity on me.
What I realized in this journey, was it is not so much about the actual number on the scale, but about my lean body mass and percentage of fat. Back in January, when I first looked at the data, my lean body mass (basically the weight of my bones, muscles, skin, organs, everything in my body besides body fat) I quickly realized my ideal weight was not going to be 110 or 120 lbs or some other irrational idea. First, I haven’t seen a number like that since 5th grade. Second, my lean body mass was 142 lbs, so if you add in a healthy percentage of body fat (because we all have to have some body fat) there was no way those numbers were realistic!!
I thought for years I had to weigh in the low 100’s…that is why when I weighed in close to 300 lbs… the task at hand seemed defeating. But, when I actually saw the data on the screen of computer, using my Fitbit dashboard, I quickly realized it did not make sense for my body and me! So I calculated it. The high end of the normal body fat range for my age is around 25%, so that would mean my lean body mass would make up the other 75% for a total of 100% me. If that was the case, when I started based on my lean body mass being constant, 25% body fat would be about 47 lbs. So 47 lbs of healthy fat added with my lean body mass of 142 lbs made my goal weight 189 lbs….ok, I admit even to me that still seemed high, but what could I say, the data was in front of me. So I thought, well let’s see how this goes, let me see what happens when I get there. It about taking the first step, right? I set this as my first goal. Let’s face it I was almost 80 lbs away from that, what did I have to lose, except body fat!
So here I am, next stop One-derland and then my first goal 25% percent body fat, just 5 lbs from One-derland and about 15 lbs from the first goal.